One day seems like two days.
In fact, my grandfather seldom comes here, but I often take a break and quietly walk in and have a look for a long time. It seems that I am a little reclusive at an early age.
Silence is a kind of temperament and a kind of cultivation. Zhuge Liang Yun is not indifferent, but he is not quiet and impetuous. It is impossible to become a big climate. Silence is to be exercised. The ancients called Jing Tang people’s poems. In Yunshan, Jing Chao observed the hibiscus, pine, Qing Zhai and broken dew. Silence may be a kind of Taoist kung fu. It is really difficult for people to be quiet in the noisy world, not just to be lonely and ignorant of the world. I appreciate Song Ru’s poems. Everything can be quiet all the time, and everyone can be happy with it. Silence is natural and humane to observe everything in human life.
The world is noisy, and the only way for us to escape to the deep mountains now is to be quiet in the middle of it. When Chairman Mao was young, he took several ways to exercise himself. One was to read in the downtown area and concentrate his attention on it without external interference. I think this can be done.
This is a habit and also caused by the environment. I put more than 30 agricultural workers in the agricultural department of Shaling, Zhangjiakou to study and work in the same room. They are noisy and singing Shanxi Bangs with gongs. I can still read and write articles. My two novels were written in loud gongs. This kind of effort has not regressed for many years. I still want a quiet environment to write now, but I don’t have to go to the seaside or a villa on the side of the mountain to conceive.
For more than ten years, I have developed the habit of sitting quietly on a pair of old sofas in my house for decades. I sit on the sofa for more than an hour every morning with a cup of tea and a cigarette. Although I still sit alone, I think about some old people’s past, some sounds, some colors, some languages and some details will gradually become clear and vivid in front of my eyes, so that I can put pen to paper and write something after sitting for several mornings. Some of my novels and essays are often used to sitting quietly in the morning. I once saw Qi Baishi’s small painting is light blue and wild. The little bee has a long inscription saying that this is the number of bees swimming when the wild vines in his hometown are blooming. His grandson was stung by bees, and now this grandson can also paint this vine. I always remember the last two sentences clearly. At the bottom of this inscription, Jin Dong writes and draws pictures with his heart, which is very beautiful. At the bottom of the inscription, I think this is the best creative state, that is, the pen time is also the best, and the heart is calm. The old man Baishi’s inscription says that when he is idle, he waves his hand.
I’m a quiet person, but I’m not impetuous at times. Recently, I said something about my hometown, and I hope that Zhengtong people can sit quietly and think about something, read something and write something.
August 16, 1989
Years of fathers become brothers.
This is a famous saying of my father.
My father is a brilliant man. He is a painter who can engrave seals and draw freehand flower seals. He first lived in Zhejiang School and later treated Chinese and Indian in middle age. He can play all kinds of musical instruments, play pipa, play huqin, play flute and play flute. He thinks that the most difficult instrument is actually the huqin, which looks simple with two strings, but it takes a lot of effort to change with both hands. He plays the old-school huqin bow, and the hard rosin drops very thick. Now the huqin rosin drops a thin layer. The huqin tone is just bright, and the huqin code is engraved by himself. He thinks that he can’ Su Cymbidium died the year my mother died, and since then he has stopped growing flowers. After my mother died, he personally made several boxes of ghost clothes for her. According to the custom of burning ghost clothes there, we bought all kinds of flowers, plain paper, and cotton wool. When he made leather clothes, he could get wheat ears, lambs, rats and foxes.
My father is a very follower. I rarely see him lose his temper and treat women with harsh words. He loves children and loves to play with children. My aunt said that his children will not be clear until spring. He led a group of children to fly kites in the wheat field and put them in centipedes. We called them baijiao, which is dyed silk paste. The kite string is strong and light, so that the kite can fly straight without belly. I haven’t seen the second person flying kites with the strings. Before the Qing Festival, the wheat is not afraid of trampling, and the more you step on it, the more prosperous the children will be in the house. After running and jumping in the field in the spring all winter, he was extremely happy physically and mentally. He cut the glass into small pieces of different shapes with a diamond knife, and then glued them together to make a small bridge, a small pavilion, and an exquisite crystal ball. The pavilion ball is in the middle, and a golden bell is raised inside. From the outside, you can see the golden bell crawling inside, flapping its wings and chirping. He can make all kinds of lights, light green, fish-scale paper, a weaver, vivid western red, dyed the color and the depth of medulla tetrapanacis, and made a double-petal lotus lamp. This is If you don’t eat, it’s called hitting a melon or scolding it. Dig out the pulp of the melon and carve a very fine pattern on the melon skin to make watermelon lanterns. We lit candles in these lanterns and crossed the street. Neighbors and children followed us and watched with envy.
My father is loyal to my career, but he doesn’t force me to be an hour. My Chinese score has always been the first in my class. I got a good comment when I was writing. He just showed it to people everywhere. He didn’t blame me for being qualified. He painted when I was a child, but he never pointed me out. When he painted, I watched the rest by myself. I didn’t really appreciate the freehand brushwork flowers at that time. I painted some bright peaches or I had never seen waterfalls. I wrote well when I was an hour. He did give me some ideas. I wrote a monument to Guifeng for a while. After many pagodas, he suggested that I write about Zhang Raptors. This suggestion is very good. Up to now, I still write about Zhang Raptors. I love singing opera in Tsing Yi when I was in junior high school. My voice is very good, bright and sweet. At home, he plays the huqin and I sing with several school parties that can sing opera. At my invitation, he went to the school to accompany several students, all of whom sang a cappella with the same surname, borrowed a gauze cap and a blue official dress, dressed up as a cinnabar well, but there was no supporting role, no servant and no prisoner. Zhao Lian shook his whip and walked on Dear, it’s quite nice for an adult to play with several children for an afternoon. I was 17 years old, and my first love was writing love at home during the summer vacation. He was blind to ideas. I learned to smoke and drink when I was a teenager. He drank and poured me a glass of cigarettes. He always lit me up first, one for him and one for me. People like us or strange fathers said that we had been brothers for many years.
My son is not bad, too. I put on a right-wing hat and put him to work in rural Zhangjiakou. He just graduated from kindergarten at that time and just learned hanyu pinyin. He wrote me his first letter. I also learned hanyu pinyin quickly so that I could write back to him. During the Cultural Revolution, I was beaten into a gang and sent to the bullpen. The children were still very affectionate to me occasionally. My wife warned them that you wanted dad to draw a line and ask his mother why you gave him a drink. Two generations had different opinions. He was put in Xinxiang County, Shanxi Province, and he could return to Beijing according to the regulations during the Spring Festival. Visiting relatives, we waited for him to come back, only to find that he also brought back a fellow general, Pojun, whose father was a prisoner who was persecuted by Lin Biao. According to the regulations of the brigade, the boy wanted to go back to Beijing and secretly helped my son with a group of secrets, so he secretly brought him back. We left him at home, which was tantamount to harboring him. The public security bureau could come to check the neighborhood office at any time, and the aunt might report that everyone was in danger at that time. It’s very difficult for us to have such a trouble. My wife called him to our bedroom and expressed her dissatisfaction with his rash behavior. I blamed him for not discussing it beforehand. My son cried and was very wronged and sad. We immediately understood that he was right or wrong. Our fear of taking responsibility was vulgar. We lacked understanding of our son’s loyalty and respect for his feelings. He stayed in our house for more than 40 days before leaving.
I took a deaf ear to my son’s several love affairs, but I didn’t interfere. We believed that he had chosen him and decided that he finally got married quietly for a short time, and a daughter was nearly seven years old.
When I was a child, when I called my father, I called me an old man, and even my granddaughter called me my own mother, saying that this child is no big or small. I think a modern family full of human feelings must first be no big or small, and parents should make people respect their children. Straight writing is the most boring.
Children belong to them, and now they should design a mode of thinking for themselves in the future. It is stupid and hateful to shape their father, and another father should try to be childlike.
September 1, 1999
Miscellaneous memories of old diseases
(of two performers) speak/sing alternately
I still can’t remember how old I was that year. After my mother died, my father took me to sleep late. I felt uncomfortable behind my neck. My father took a light to look at a swollen little red dot, then took a Momo in the middle of the night, and then took a lotus cup at dawn. My father said it was a bad match.
The counterpart is a malignant sore that grows in the third cervical vertebra. It is also called beheading sore because it is opposite to the mouth. In the past, the knife was used to kill people in this place, not a machete. When you push your head at the third cervical vertebra, you will come to the head. The counterpart is very bad. Maybe it will ruin your neck.
My father took me to see Zhang Yeqing, a friend of my father’s who is a western surgeon, but he seldom treats patients at home. He told me to lie prone on the coffee table and look at it. He shivered and found a pack of scalpels and burned them in an alcohol lamp. This Mr. Zhang didn’t even have anesthetic. My father stuffed a jujube in my mouth, and I was not ready to hear it. Mr. Zhang had cleared my mouth. How did he squeeze pus and blood? I didn’t see it. Because I was lying prone, he took a roll of bandage and rubbed it into a dip. It seemed that the main thing was Fan. Shilin put a forceps into my knife for a long time. This is what I saw. I didn’t feel any pain because this counterpart was ripe. I felt itchy and swollen when I put a bandage in it.
I’ve finished eating my candied dates, and my father stuffed me with another one to go home.
Mr. Zhang told me to change the dressing the next day, draw out the bandage, and then put the bandage dipped in the new medicine in it for three or four times. I noticed that the bandage was getting shorter and shorter, and it closed in a few days
Mr. Zhang told my father that your son is really good. Why bother to hum? I don’t feel any pain.
After my generation, I seldom hum when I encounter physical or mental illness, but I don’t try my best to make others feel uneasy.
Now I have a scar on the back of my neck.
There are probably not many people who have an operation on a candied date.
malaria
I will have malaria once a year, from childhood to high school, and it will not fall for a year, and the time of Taoyi market will come soon in the right season. Wait.
The young man asked ehrenburg what it was like to have a headache. He wanted to write about a headache in the novel. ehrenburg said that you have never had a headache, so you are really happy. The headache feeling is impossible to say that many people in China, especially in the north, have never had malaria. A young man asked me to introduce a malaria feeling, and I couldn’t help it. At first, I was cold, and my master went to the church. We called malaria the master to go to the church. I don’t know what to do. Get into bed quickly, cover two thick quilts with cold, or be too cold to make my teeth ring and get hot. It’s hot and a severe headache. A Sanqu sings about malaria. It’s like ice in the cold season and sitting in the hot season. It’s like lying in a steamer. It’s painful in the season. God, it’s like such a cold and hot summer. It’s hard to feel good. I’m sweating, my clothes are soaked and I’m relaxed. Malaria is over. I’m leaving the school and wiping my forehead. I’m hungry. I’m sitting up and eating porridge. Just a plate of sweet sauce cucumbers is delicious.
Du Mu Shiyun endured things, but he also endured malaria. He also took a few doses of decoction to add and subtract Xiaochaihu soup. No matter what happened three times, he still took blue-printed cinchona cream, that is, quinine tablets, to solve the problem. My father said that I was yin deficient for one year and let me eat a lot of sea cucumbers every day. It was really good, but I still didn’t cut my roots until I had a vicious malaria in 1939. The ancient malaria worms in my body said goodbye to me completely.
Malignant malaria was in Vietnam. I took a boat from the sea to the river via Hong Kong and took the Yunnan-Vietnam railway train to Kunming. When I arrived in Kunming, I stayed in Tongji Zhongsheng’s dormitory. After living together for a few days, I fell ill. The Tongji Zhongsheng took me to their school doctor’s office for a blood test. The school doctor said that there were several germs in my blood, including typhoid fever. What do you mean, I was sent to the hospital quickly?